My choir boys are tone-deaf. Stone-cold tone-deaf. We finally got the rhythm down for the first part of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” but it doesn’t exactly sound like anything, yet.
Also, my students are terrible at playing hangman. Why on earth would anyone use Q for their first guess? Q?
I’ve switched the Patbingsu Song punishment – now they have to dance to “When Doves Cry.”
Today’s accomplishments:
- made late students in three (3!) classes sing “The Patbingsu Song”
- instituted the Shoes-for-Pens policy, in which I lend pens to students in exchange for one of their shoes, thus ensuring that I never lose a pen again (unless I lose it myself)
- inadvertently induced fat kid in class 1J to give a solo performance of “Moon River”
- sat in classroom checking New York Times every thirty seconds until the new Dining and Wine section was posted
I know, I work hard.
There has been an absence of blog posts lately due to the fact that I have to anonymify (Program says), which is difficult when your domain name has…your name. I’ll keep you posted.
In the meantime, it’s cooled off here, and I got to judge an English play contest that was probably one of the highlights of the year so far. Imagine, if you will, a fairy tale in which every character is played by Borat, and you might have a starting point. Also recently: played near a waterfall, met a drunk man who a) quizzed me on what chickens say in America and b) turned out to be the father of one of my students, and discovered that luck is geographic. Did you know that? I’m not afraid to open my umbrella indoors anymore. Koreans aren’t. So until I fly into LAX, I will open my usan whenever I please. Once I hit American soil, of course, all former superstitions apply.
There have been a lot of mistranslations lately, and maybe I’ll blog about that later. Or not.
Filed under: ACT, PCT, life in Jeju, miscommunication, music, pipe dreams, skool, teaching
So my room is filled with decorations from last year’s ETA, including class projects, English concepts, and signs that say “Happy Times with Jullienne” (sic). Monday, after many promises of redecoration, PCT and ACT offered to take me to the stationery store for room supplies the next day. The next day (yesterday), however, it was raining, so PCT came into my room and was like, “What I mean to say is I think maybe it is bad idea to go because the rain is so heavy.” And I was like, fine, whatever, and we made plans to go today. And they went anyway, because the rain stopped, and failed to call me. Although they bought me Post-it bookmarks. Which – granted – I needed. But still. And now PCT says she is too busy to help me make new signs for the classroom, which is fine, but I would be willing to do all the work – I just need to know what to do. I already tried emailing her documents she could print out and I could laminate (again, I would do this, but I don’t have access to a computer with a printer) and she told me that they were too small, or something. I don’t even know. And now ACT just came in – apparently we ARE going to the stationery store today, and I feel really bad, because I would have gone last night had I known, and thus avoided making them trek twice. Sometimes it just feels like there is a lot of stuff that they think/say in Korean and just, you know, forget to translate.
Also: first a cappella practice this morning. Students did NOT like “Lean on Me.” Which I was going to say is positively un-American, but then I remembered I am not in America.
PS. I am debating giving busted laptop to Candace for college, since Acer will take approximately six years to fix mine, and investing in a new one. And – I hate to say this, but I was looking at Glypie’s MacBook Pro, and it is so pretty. But a Mac? Really? In my family, that is akin to buying a Chevy, making cake from a mix, or voting Democrat. In other words, it means admitting the defeat of your convictions. Never mind that I don’t really want to vote Republican or Democrat or Green or Constitution, lately.
One of my students just won a PEZ dispenser in class and it almost caused a riot.
My laptop is 업서요, as we like to say over here in Korea-land. In other words, I opened it last night, the mouse wouldn’t move, and then the entire screen turned a shade of periwinkle. (Yes, periwinkle.) Which means that a) I will probably have to ship it back to Acer for the second time in a year to get this fixed, and b) all entries until further notice are coming to you from English Classroom 1, 1st Floor, Dong Middle School, Hwabuk, Jeju-si, Jeju-do, South Korea. Which is rather inconvenient, because this computer is still in Korean, and also totally slow. But a blogger has to do what a blogger has to do, right?
It started raining shortly after I got to school, and it’s raining harder than ever now, which means that I have to wait to go walk to FamilyMart and buy a soda and a Popsicle. I like the rain, actually; it’s cooling the weather, and it’s rather peaceful. I just like ice cream more.
Should I make it, though, I have to be careful about who sees me eat. Being here is a little like being on the Truman Show; everyone watches you all the time. For example: yesterday I went to the cafeteria with Pseudo-Co-Teacher, who is a teacher who has been assigned to look after me by Actual Co-Teacher when she’s not around. I took some meat and some rice, skipping the soup and two kinds of kimchi, and sat down. Then we had the following dialogue.
PCT: You do not want soup?
H: I’m not sure how hungry I am, so I think I’m going to wait.
PCT: Oh, okay. (pause) That is all you eat?
H: For now, I think so.
PCT: I think you maybe need vegetables?
H: I’ll go get some soup.
(H goes to get soup, which is not-delicious seaweed soup, which is why it was skipped in the first place, and sits back down)
H: Oh, I need a spoon.
PCT: Why you get up again?
H: Because I didn’t get a spoon the first time, because I didn’t think I was going to eat any soup.
(H gets a spoon, sits back down. Man across table starts muttering in Korean)
PCT: He wants to know why you did not get side dish, like we do. But you can try mine.
H: You know what, I’ll go get some kimchi.
(H gets up again, gets kimchi in a bowl, sits down for third time)
PCT: Usually, we put on tray. Not in bowl.
(H gives up)
Today PCT brought me some grapes. On a side note, grapes here are delicious; they are much grapier than any grapes we have at home. They are also much messier. Neither the skins nor the seeds are edible (although it is the grape near the seed that is the most tangy and delicious), so you have to spit them out, which inevitably involves sticky hands. Ice cream, on the other hand, comes in wrappers. However, if PCT sees me with ice cream, she will think I do not like/appreciate the grapes. And if any teacher sees me drinking soda, they will automatically assume – and tell all the other teachers – that my favorite drink is soda, which is not even true; I just want one. Navigating kindness, I think, is as difficult as the other sometimes.
I’ve been watching this music show thing with HS – maybe it’s an awards show? – and for lack of a better word, it’s awesome. A few observations:
- We just saw the lead singer of this band called Banana Boat prance around on stage in a tailcoat
- Um, I just saw a band called Banana Boat
- All of the bands seem to have at least seven members
- Maybe “bands” isn’t the right word?
- No one can sing – at least in America our production values take care of singers who go flat
Anyway I’m about to call Tony and head out to Hallim for the evening, but I think I have to spend a little more time with HF, since I just got out of bed, you know, an hour or so ago. I actually woke up at 8 AM (thanks, school), watched an episode of Cupid, talked to Glypie, and generally was unproductive before falling back into a hangover-induced stupor around 11. I was working under the (erroneous) impression that my host fam was also asleep, so my sloth was acceptable. Actually, my host family was doing things, like normal people do on Saturdays, and they just didn’t happen to be in the apartment.
So now I’m sitting here in a shirt that says “What a Lovely,” thinking about what the rain means for my plans tomorrow with HB and HS, and about last night. I’m still not worried about the island – I think we’re all settling in, trying to establish our places with our families. I can see how one might be concerned. But I’m not, yet. I’m still happy.
What I am concerned about, though, is Monday. If my class of obnoxious eighth-grade girls yesterday reminded me of anything, it was that I really do need to come up with some sort of disciplinary policy and a set of rules – even if there’s another teacher in the room with me. I wish I’d established this routine earlier. Why did I just assume that they wouldn’t be needed? The educational system is different here, but kids are kids are kids. Even if it seems like only in South Korea would I find a student reminiscent of a small, Korean Eugene Levy. Why are the only resemblances I find obscure ones?
I think – I think - we’re having our first a cappella (aka “English pop song? Do you want to join English pop song club?”) practice on Wednesday, where I will begin the process of whipping these children into singing shape. I want to start with “Lean on Me,” because it’s easy, and who doesn’t like it? Co-Teacher has been incredibly supportive of this endeavor, and she also wrote me a really sweet letter the other day that basically told me to keep on truckin’. It made me glad I spent a lot of money to take a taxi to buy us frozen yogurt.
Filed under: changes, host fam, life in Jeju, miguk fam, skool, stuff, teaching
Korean Minkus* was back in class today. I have to say that a) I really kind of love Class 1J** and b) in addition to KM, it has this really adorable fat kid, another one with these sort of weirdly cute crossed eyes, and one (non-fat) student who clearly speaks English pretty well and uses it to be an asshat. That would be the one who told me that his favorite hobby was “studying” and that I was “beautiful, very beautiful.” (Again, how sad is it that the only kids who tell me that are the ones who are blatantly sucking up?) But he’s funny, and tiny, and I like both of those things.
I’m taking my happiness where I can get it this week, so I was happy to see them, and happy to teach “weather words” today – my goal is to push them out of this semester with the ability to answer basic questions about themselves. Ex. Where are you from, and what is it like? Just to be able to get around. That’s all I’m asking.
In the meantime – I spent tonight painting. Some things about Korea still surprise me, like the fact that the dinky, junky 문방국 (stationery store) down the street sells palettes for $2. As I walked with Host Sister today to the store, I couldn’t help imagining the same goal in Tennessee; first I would have to go to Michael’s or Wal-Mart, but it would be a drive, and depending on traffic and what else was going on that day I would probably have to wait until there was another occasion to go…Here we left; we went into this store that, quite honestly, didn’t look like it should have anything worthwhile, and bought a palette with cartoon characters on it; and then we walked to the grocery store across the street and bought Popsicles. I ate a melon bar.
*My brother has a Shawn Hunter*** jacket – a leather bomber with a shearling collar – and one day my sister and I started calling him and my dad “Shawn and Chet,” which always makes me giggle when I remember it, partially because my father is the opposite of a Chet and partially because Chet is a funny name.
**The people who are sponsoring this yearlong vacation have politely requested that we all dissociate our blogs from: the organization, our schools, our families. So from now on, following Laura’s lead, my organization is now The Program, the people who run my organization are now The People Who Run The Program or possibly The Powers That Be, my school is now My School, my host family is now made of Host Brother (HB), Host Sister (HS), Omoni (Mom), Aboji (Dad). And Class 1J is obviously not named Class 1J. As of right now my friends’ names are staying in, but that might change. If you actually know me and you want more specific information, feel free to comment.
***Did you know that Rider Strong graduated Magna Cum Laude from Columbia? (I accidentally typed in Manga. That must be why I didn’t.)
Actual names my students have requested to be called, male edition:
Wonder Woman
Raccoon
Mr. Kim
Superman
Dog Baby
Also, I have a student whose name is – no joke – Yoo Suk.
The English teacher dinner meeting tonight was held at a Japanese restaurant – I guess the fact that every English teacher has seen the Powerpoint slide that says “Hillary’s favorite Korean food is raw fish!” has finally sunk in. Not that I was dropping hints or anything. At dinner, I started telling them about my pipe-dream extracurricular – an a cappella English singing group – and they all got really excited. The Korean Lori Hartmann-Mahmud even asked me if I had seen “Freedom Writers” and told me I reminded her of Hilary Swank’s character. If she only knew. It seems to be a bit of a hasty judgment if you ask me, especially given the fact that, despite my vow to abandon Korean in the classroom, I ended up screaming, “Iyagiheyo? Fun OPSOYO!” (lit. “Talking? Fun DOES NOT EXIST!”) to a classroom of rowdy low-level eighth-grade boys. But it is flattering. I’m just not sure how to explain that it’s not that I’m actually a good, passionate teacher; it’s just that I’ve seen Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit five too many times.
I’m going to ask my students about it tomorrow, but I’m not banking on anything. That wasn’t even my original plan, honestly; my first goal was to have some sort of English newspaper or drama or something, but the one thing that my students seem to be unified in is their love of “POP SONG!” (One girl even wrote on her paper that her favorite place in Korea was “Super Junior’s house.” It seemed irrelevant to remind her that because there are maybe thirteen people in Super Junior, it is highly doubtful that they all live in one place.) I can’t even get them to shut up, so I doubt I can get them to voluntarily write about stuff. I might, however, be able to convince them to sing, although not having any choral conducting experience, and not having been in any sort of choir for the past five years, it won’t be easy. I just want my students to do something fun. But half of them go to hagwon (supplementary academy – like Sylvan Learning Center, but for everyone, not just kids who need special help) directly after school anyway. I guess I can dream, right?
Yesterday’s teaching was terrible, honestly. Today’s went much better, but I ended up crying at a teahouse with three of the other English teachers anyway, because they asked me about my plan for the semester and I tried to explain it and they all got this sort of look on their face like “Weeeellllllll…” I felt a lot less frustrated today with my students, but I’m still really aggravated – reading other blogs, I know that a lot of other ETAs have students coming up to them saying they are beautiful and have small face and blah blah blah. My students absolutely, positively do not care. My job is to make them care, of course – not that I have a small face (I don’t, anyway), but enough to pay attention in class, to want to learn English, to not leave me up there alone and pouring sweat in a room with no air conditioning. If I don’t want to be alone, I have to take them with me. And my co-teachers keep giving me advice, but I have no idea if it’s good or not – they have a lot of experience, but at the same time the Korean educational system is very different from the one I’ve learned, and so my instinctive reaction to a lot of their suggestions is, “Are you sure about that?”
Andy says it’s culture shock. It might be. I hope so, because it’s too early to let this get me down.
Happy Pig
Teck Ki (Tacky?)
Cute Girl
Sexy Geir
Cow
Pooh
Beautiful House
Banana
(x) No, please.
The idea of going back to my classes tomorrow is already disheartening, which is a definite sign that something about my lessons needs to change. Right now I feel like a cog in a giant education factory, kind of like the cheese factory in “Mouse Hunt,” if you’ve ever seen that Nathan Lane gem. I think the major problems are as follows:
a) my students may or may not understand me
b) I have no real way of knowing if my students understand me
c) I don’t know anything about my students
d) They have heard all the stuff I am teaching them before
e) I have to stand up there and deliver a PowerPoint about myself, and I don’t like PowerPoint much, and I know about myself
Tomorrow, lesson modification: they have to fill out worksheets answering the same questions they ask about me. This should make my teaching more interesting, at least. If I can get my hands on some string I might have the kids on Tuesday make nametags. The hammer, however, is not going anywhere. The hammer is the only thing standing in between me and classroom anarchy. I would like to think that this would not be the case if I were teaching in a classroom where I knew for sure that the kids understood what I was saying, but I sort of doubt that such is the case.
Tomorrow I am also cooking for my host family; what, exactly, depends on what I can find at E-Mart. They have requested Italian. I am debating gnocchi. I know for sure that E-Mart will have the ingredients for gnocchi. I also know for sure that I’ve never cooked it before and that it’s a whole lot of work. I hope it goes okay. At least they can’t eat until around 8 PM, because my host sister is doing some sort of extra extra extra school thing, in addition to her actual school and hagwon – something about an at-home math test, or maybe math tutoring. I’m never really sure of anything around here. You know.
Yesterday, after a scooter-buying adventure that almost but did not quite end in Tom buying a possibly stolen moped, the Jeju-sians headed out to Seogwipo, where the beach is beautiful but it does occasionally rain. And by “occasionally,” I obviously mean, as you might guess, “yesterday.” We got a good hour of beach time in before spending another hour wandering around, trying to collect everyone’s soggy stuff, and losing a drunk Drew, who ended up in a hotel lobby with his bottle of Carlo Rossi. Having polished off a fair amount of wine myself, and having forgotten to charge my cell phone, I wasn’t much help. We finally ended up outside of the Seogwipo E-Mart (of course), where I had to buy new clothes so I didn’t look quite so much like a lost street urchin, and meeting Tony for chicken. I like the beach. I like Seogwipo, although not as well as Jeju-si. I like Jeju-do.
